An unprepared social worker getting her report to the DA late, resulted in a continuance till Feb 24th.
My STBX-Husband is incarcarated.
His attorney still managed to rip the SW.
The SW wasn't sure what happened in court.
I have had no diluted or positive drug tests!!!!
All I know is I have to find a way to take another half day off work to work this out.
Here is a letter I sent the SW....
I am still really confused by the DA's comments.
I think its really important that they understand that I have not moved and that (daughter) has been at (school) since 1999 since she was 2.5 years old.
I also want them to understand that my mother and I basically are "co-parenting" the children. This means that they will spend time with her before school/afterschool and overnight when she's in town. It's not like when they return, my mother will be cut out of their life.
While (Daughter) and (son) HAVE THRIVED in this environment, I think its important too that the court understand that since she's been getting Grades, they have always been A's and E's. While there were unexcused absenses - last year she also went out of town with her paternal grandmother on a vacation to Las Vegas and I had a period of time where I had car troubles and worked this out with the school. The impression I got from the DA was that her school performance was POOR until the time they went to live with my mom and that's not the case. I have all of her reportcards if you wish to review those, I can have them available for you when you come over on the 22nd.
I took pictures lastnight and I'll be printing those for my mom and I will have those available to you when we meet.
I'd also like them to understand the activities that we're doing and that I'm able to participate in as my schedule allows. Daughter's starting Softball and has tried out for a Soccer team. We engage in scrapbooking, trips to the park, watching Movies and Sushi Nights. They are served nutritious breakfasts, lunches and dinner which include whole wheat, cereal, organic where I can, chicken, steak, fish sticks, veggies they like (brocolli, corn, greenbeans, spaghetti squash) and fresh fruits and 100% fruit juice. We mix our own Ice Cream and Slurpees in an Ice Cream Maker I bought them for Christmas. We have "movie night" were I allow them to sleep out on the front living room floor, but only on non-school nights and we eat popcorn, etc. At bedtime, we tell stories (meaning they too engage in telling stories) and say our prayers.
We have family meetings where we sit down and discuss things. This is where I remind them of my expectations for their behavior to avoid confrontations and time-outs. This has worked really well. Another thing I've begun doing to engage them in learning to talk to me is to ask them each night "One thing that made you Sad. One thing that made you Angry. One thing that made you Happy." I've been really happy with some of the things they have come back with. For instance, Son was sad it was raining the other day and angry our trip to the park got cancelled and he was happy he could spend the night with mom.
The house has been maintained clean. Each day they are there we spend time together, picking up their toys and ensuring that in the event we have an unexpected visitor, the house is clean. This means that toys find their spots if they aren't in the process of playing with them. Clothes are picked up and put in the hamper and shoes are by the door. Dishes are in the sink and each night the dishwasher is run. Anything not in the dishwasher means I was out of room and is taken care of the following day. The trash is emptied as it fills. Cleaner is put on the floor, counter tops, as needed or at least once a week. Vaccuming is 1-2 times per week. Laundry is done on the weekends and clothes are folded and put away.
I pick them up at my mom's and return them in the morning and she takes them to school. She's offered to continue this pattern as her schedule allows. My mom's going to be the Manager of Daughter's Softball team and I've agreed to help her as much as I can "behind the scenes" helping her with any projects or organzing she has to do.
When my mother is not here to help with babysitting, I have Michele Kraft who was fingerprinted and approved to have them for unsupervised visits. Michele has helped me on Saturday's with babysitting when my mom was not able to. She is also an alternate emergency contact for the children in the event I or my mom or Kathy are unable to get to the children if something were to happen.
I continue to test clean and as you indicated, have had no diluted tests. I will have for you my most recent parenting TSR which shows I've completed to date 37 classes. I am "above average" in participation and understanding. I've completed outpatient and continue to do NA meetings and maintain consistent contact with my Sponsor, Chrissy Armstrong.
At work, I am doing well. My income is such that I can handle the financial responsibilities that come with raising two small children in daycare. Child Support would help offset this however, if it wasn't forthcoming, I would still be able to meet my financial commitments.
I need to avoid, if at all possible, continuances because this requires me to be away from work. I am measured by how many outbound sales calls I make and when I'm not here, I fall behind. While my boss has been understanding, I don't want to be out unless absolutely necessary.
I know you are busy but this is the second time the DA has commented that the reports have been "walked in" and I don't know the procedure, but I'd just like to ask that you do your part to ensuring that the reports are on time so the DA does not ask for a continuance.
Regarding ZERO (STBX-Husband) - I have from the beginning stated my concern for his pattern of "in and out" and here we are again - he's OUT for the time being. I'm not a child psychologist, but I can't believe that this is healthy for him to come into Son's life for a period of time and then suddenly disappear. Its not like he sits down and says "Daddy has to go on a business trip" or "Daddy's in the military and will be station oversees for the time being." It's not like I can afford to take Collect Telephone calls to encourage continued "contact". I want to understand when enough is enough.
I just really would like to get through to the DA what life is like at my house above and beyond my participation in my case plan.
Thanks and I will see you Tuesday the 22nd at 7pm at my house.
Take care,
