His First Visit since Feb

In a few hours, my son will be having his first visit with his father since the first week in February.

The visitation center called to arrange the visits the other day and we agreed to 4pm to 6pm but they don't have openings so they are going to put him in the 3pm to 5pm slot. I have issue with that because I cannot and WILLNOT miss work. I also don't think its fair to my son to be sitting around the county visitation center with strangers waiting a half hour to forty minutes for me to pick him up.

But I have not choice in the matter. It is what it is.


I want to document how I'm feeling. I have anxiety and I have a sick feeling in my stomach. I want to cry. I don't feel good. I know that John will but I feel like its a matter of time before he doesn't see him again. I tried to be positive and tell him about the day with his dad and that I hoped he had fun and when I left school, he gleefully told his friends "I get to see my dad today!" I wanted to just drop and fold my hands over my face and cry for him.

Now I have to begin the process of prayer. Praying that each visit he will be there. That he won't cave into temptation of drugs and that he will be a "dad!"