DS' Dad gives money and wants to take DS to Church

Thanks for the $40 back you borrowed and an additional $40 more! I appreciate that. But don't call saying "Daddy's calling" anymore and no, our son can't go to church with you less than a week after you relapsed!

Out of the mouth of a babe!

A conversation between my mom and my daughter:

I was telling (gma’s friend) about (dd’s dad) saying we are keeping DD away from him and (gma’s friend) said he's stupid because he doesn't know his own daughter and how smart she is (GMa’s Friend) said he still looks at her as about age 5 or 6 when he spent more time with her? Thought that was a good point.

I told (granddaughter) her Dad had called me and she asked what he said and I told her that "he feels Mom and Me are the ones that won't allow you to talk to him" and you know what she says " now I really don't want to talk to him for blaming you guys for something he has done "--I about drove off the road. I told her he might call on her birthday and she says "does he even know when my birthday is" laughs and in the next breath asks to go outside and play. She is one amazing little girl.

Mom gets another call from DD's Dad

DD's dad called from Jail lastnight to talk to my mom. The call came probably around 9pm. My mom said she hung up on him because he's such an ass. NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

He hasn't read what I sent him. Keeps going back to my screw up three years ago as if to make himself better. Said "I never used in front of my daughter!" Funny thing is, he's not around her enough to pick his nose, scratch his ass, or even shop around her. So it doesn't surprise me he never "used" around her! Anyways, I rectified the situation and I'm going to ask the courts to give me what is rightfully mine and based on history - I have always made all decisions and he never sees her. There's really not much more to say.

He's planning on living with his girlfriend when he gets out. Part of me wants to call her landlord to let them know he's living there because the minute he returns to work, they are no longer low income and I may just announce that in court when he indicates his plans to return there - that is if he gets a chance to even say that!!!

I'm excited for my day in court and to leave with appropriate orders of Legal and Sole Custody and no visitation. If he wants to fight me then I'll give him supervised visitation through Kids Haven. He can go there, fill out the paperwork, figure it all out and tell me how it works. I'm here parenting my kids and that is where my focus will lie. Not with him or how to help him figure out life.

Its kind of funny that his mom is snowed as is the girlfriend. Me and my mom are not. While I always hold out hope for people, I'm not placing any energy into him that is premature and right now its premature!

DS' Dad Relapses

DS’ dad admitted a relapse and that he hasn’t worked all week. He said he relapsed 3 days ago and that the PO knows and told him to get back into an SLE. When I asked him why he did it, he said he didn’t know. I told him he’d never “know” until he goes to counseling to figure out why at 42 he continues to do this when all is going well. I was calling him to ask about money his employer was supposed to send. At this point, I’m writing it all off. I don’t even fucking care anymore. I swear to God…..he had just worked up to unsupervised visits with his son and then this happens. I’m done. Done calling him. Done accepting his calls. Done letting him see his son. He wants more, he can take me to court.

FUCK EM ALL!

Update

No letter from DD's Dad! NOTHING. Courts in a week!

DS' dad said he was going to start paying me directly up to half his check or the full amount of support. I should start seeing money going to child support this week and it should be quick because those idiots at his old company won't hold anything. He has a new job so there's a week of short/no checks but if he can do this, I'll be happy.

He's also looking to live on his own and I keep suggesting a studio - I'm thinking if he can get in a studio then he will have his OWN place - something he really needs. One can only continue to hope and pray!

I've offered him 2 extra days with our son and one of them he was out of town. He doesn't call that much and sometimes takes a day or two to return the call but so far he's been around for the most part. I don't expect him to be at my beckon call!

DD's dad calls my mom

My daughter’s dad phoned my mom’s house from Jail over the weekend. She talked to him for the 20 minutes. The call came in on Saturday. DD still refused to talk to him and my mom feels “sorry” for him. Made the comment she may take his girlfriend $20! I just said “do whatever you want – but I don’t feel sorry for him – he stuck me with raising her, inconsistent financial support (nothing since Aug 2006 which is nothing in five months) and $2500 in medical bills.

FUCK HIM!

Supposedly he wrote her a letter. He said he mailed it days ago only its not here. I’m POSITIVE he wrote it after his mom made the comment to him last Thursday or Friday to write her. He said he already sent it but its not here – he’s a liar.

Now my mom calls me daily asking me if the letter came. Do you think I want to be reminded of this asshole as I’m on my way to work? FUCK NO! I’m about ready to throttle someone. I’m trying hard to do what I have to do to provide for my family and I feel like I’m failing miserably. So if anyone wants to feel sorry for anyone – take it somewhere else. I don’t want to fucking hear it!

DS' unsupervised visit

On Sunday, I allowed DS and his Dad to go to church and spend time at a park together. His dad was on time, my son came home fed and with a smile on his face. I didn't worry and I felt okay about the whole thing. I'm going to start allowing visits as he calls to ask for them. If he gets loaded and ends up in jail, visits will cease and he'll have to take me to court before visits will resume. That's just the way that's going to be!

Child Support Wrote

I got some kind of a court appearance schedule in March for Child Support for DD's dad. I don't know if this is related to what I filed on him or this is separate. It talked about Workers Comp and a change in circumstances.

I wrote them telling them what I was asking for and then I made a powerful statement - I told them that his "ability" to pay should be based on his earning potential. He's in jail for christ's sake....he doesn't have an ABILITY! He was getting loaded and burglarizing people's homes or at the very least, possessing stolen property. I said verbatim: "I sure hope the Department doesn't excuse his obligations". Powerful isn't that. Because I already know they are going to excuse it...I know this....that's the "law" but I'm going to get the law changed. I'm going on a crusade because I should be paid back. That's the right thing to do...even if it takes him 50 years or some settlement or inheritance he gets years from now. I deserve to be paid back! My child deserves to be supported by her dad and if they excuse his obligations, a war will ensue! Mark my words!

Served DD's dad

I wrote up papers for Full Legal and No Visitation and mailed them on Friday, Dec 29th to the jail. I tried to serve them personally on Thursday but the lazy ass guard wouldn't take them, so I left!

Court is Jan 31st! I feel good about this! Happy in fact. I'll get my order then work on the next phase which is going to be a relocation!