iaddicted

Merry Christmas from my iphone. I love this thing. I have some things to learn and I have discovered a few things that could be better but so far I am happy.

All is well for the most part. There are still things that I wish were different,people I miss and things I hope to change. Kids are wonderful and they are fortunate and I love them dearly. Sometimes I just miss them and I don't always realize how fast time really can fly by. Life continues to be good.

DD's Feelings regarding Visitation with her Dad

He sees her on average 5x a year and calls about once a month if that. He's gone up to 6 months with little to no contact. All his inquiries to visitation start on Halloween and end just after his birthday in march. He wants to be apart of the holidays, her birthday, then his.

Nothing between then.

My daughter, only sometimes, showed hurt and angry feelings about him not "loving" her the way a dad should. <--her words - heartbreaking.

Last year I filed for sole custody for legal reasons and no visitation (he was in jail for relapsing on meth after 7 years clean and sober. This years custody suit has been a mixed blessing.

For one, he now sees her every other weekend for 12 hours on a saturday. But he's so unstable that he moves alot and he doesn't have appropriate sleeping and personal space for our daughter. My court order gives her the veto power over sleeping over and well, I exercise my own veto power because he's' moved 2x in 3 months.

Well, I had to talk to him lastnight because she dreads going. I have had to explain to her how i"m in such a difficult situation. Here I went to court, argued in mediation how he just needs to be consistent and now he is, and she can't stand it because she's "bored" because he "never has money" to take her anywhere. I feel I can't punish him for being involved and broke. I've been very broke so I know how that is.....I also don't think he should have to entertain her 24x7 and they do get out and do things.

The bottom line is she's basically feelling "homesick" when she goes so I had a long and nice conversation with him lastnight about things and told him how she's feeling and he didn't get defensive or angry. It was really nice to share her feelings. I encouraged her to talk to her but moreover, see her more often but for less time. Come every few days an hour, two or three at a time. Pick her up on Saturday for a half day and if she wants to stay later, let her.

So that's my rock and my hard place and it is very much exactly like what you deal with right down to calling late regarding cmas and having ZERO plans on christmas eve.